all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
