Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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