Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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