I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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