I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
