it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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