last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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