It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
