sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
