i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
