So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize