i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize