We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
