she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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