Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
