??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
