i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
