At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize