Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
sarcasm needs its own font
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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