I heard we made out
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
