i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
