I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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