actually, I'm a sock model
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
