Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
