Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
