would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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