he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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