I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
