He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize