Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize