Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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