Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
