Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize