While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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