dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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