I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
