so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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