One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
