yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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