he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
