So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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