Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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