have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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