a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
