Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
