if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
please don't ironically join a cult
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