I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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