I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
