I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Randomize
