One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
