There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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