How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i drank out of a bidet.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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