I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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