She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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