I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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