So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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