you would pick up someone in the library
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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