Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
