is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You pole danced in your parka.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
