TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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