im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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