And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
