They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize