OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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