it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
