i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
