I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
