I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
