Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i believe in u and ur pee
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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