woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
