He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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