if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
