Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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