She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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