Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
