i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
