mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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