Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
