whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
