Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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